Praise the Lord! I now have Internet in my home!
As you may or may not know, trying to stay connected through email has been very difficult for me since I came back in July. I have felt the effects of not being able to let everyone know what is going on, or stay up to date in your lives. My time back has been mixed with feelings of loneliness as I haven't been able to be a part of every one's lives. It has been a learning time and a growing time.
During this time I have realized how truly weak I am. I've seen that my only hope for being here is the Lord. He is my strength. If I can just remember that. If I can just remember the story He has created in my life. How He has called me by name and wooed me to my heart's desire. He is a good God. And while I've struggled with feeling his presence and adjusting to Cambodian life, He made me for this. He prepared me for this time and place. I can rest in knowing that I am with Him now and He is with me.
So now I am learning to rest and wait with Him. And I see that my situation is not specific to Cambodia. We all have callings. We all have tough times. And all of your stories are beautiful. Something I did recently was write down my story of how I came to Cambodia. I wrote 8 to 10 pages of the struggles and triumphs I had experienced. And I spared no detail. I told of how I felt along the way. When I was finished it was amazing for me to see this story. Even though my hands physically wrote it, I was reminded of how the Lord crafted it.
The Lord truly has good plans. He is a better author than we could ever be. Will we allow him to write the story? Will we allow him to take the pen? Sometimes it's hard. But, even as I have struggled while in Cambodia I remember how good his ways are. Even on my best day with the best hopes and dreams for myself I could not have gotten me here. I couldn't have seen the blessings that I've seen. I could not have known the joy that I have known. My story would have been a dull, Reader's Digest version, at best.
So I praise the Lord for what he as done. I thank the Lord for the Internet and for the loving community I have in America and Cambodia. And I ask him to remind me when I start to try to take the pen from his hands.