Friday, January 15, 2010

Crown of Beauty

Today I visited the aftercare facility that is home to some girls from the village where I work. I have not seen two of these girls for six months. . .
When I entered the center, I found the first girl unexpectedly. Before I had taken more than a few steps, I felt myself being embraced by small arms tight around my waist. When I looked down, all I could see was beautiful black hair. This child was clearly intent on giving me an intense hug. So much so, that I could not even see her face for it was buried somewhere in my shirt. As I joined in the hugging process, I was able to slowly pry her off of me and see who was giving me such a warm welcome. It was Kat!
I first met Kat, while doing kids club in the village. She had always been a loving child that had an ornery way of latching on and not letting go. After about three months of working in the village, we heard that her and her cousin had been sold. In this case they were not sold for a night but were sold to the men for one week. My heart broke at the thought of our girls being hurt. It was a very difficult time. We did not know where the girls were and we could not help them. But we prayed and prayed. And praise the Lord, both girls were returned. They soon entered an aftercare facility and have been there ever since.
I remember around the time Kat was sold, her parents cut her hair. They cut it very short in a traditionally male hair style. Now, in Khmer culture long hair is considered beautiful and short hair on girls is not common. I felt bad for her and I wondered why they cut her beautiful hair.
But now fast forward to today and here I am being squeezed by a girl with long, beautiful hair. I just kept touching her hair and saying “Your hair is so long. It’s so pretty.”
After I was home, I couldn’t stop thinking about her hair. I felt a little embarrassed that I couldn’t stop touching her hair and I talked about it so much.
Then I cried.
Tears of sorrow for the pain she endured before her rescue. Tears of thanksgiving and joy for Kat’s life now
And in my tears, I let the Lord tell me about her hair. I saw the symbolism in her hair. At the time she was sold, her hair was cut. It was as if, in preparation of her being sold her parents decided to mar her beauty. To make her a little less pretty. To make her a bit more of an object and easier to control. They marked her in a way that was noticeable to everyone.
But today I saw her hair; healthy, strong, thick and long. I’m still amazed by how much it grew! It is truly the work of the Lord. In place of the shame others have put on her, He has placed beauty. Despite every obstacle from the enemy, the Lord remains victorious as He establishes beauty. He is the only one who has authority to name Kat. He calls her beautiful and as a reminder to me and everyone else causes the hairs on her head to grow. Now she is seen for the name the Lord has given her. She is beautiful and lovely. She is the Lord’s.
Let the outside never again define who she is, or could be.

“He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,”
Isaiah 61:1-3

Friday, October 23, 2009

Praise the Lord! I now have Internet in my home!
As you may or may not know, trying to stay connected through email has been very difficult for me since I came back in July. I have felt the effects of not being able to let everyone know what is going on, or stay up to date in your lives. My time back has been mixed with feelings of loneliness as I haven't been able to be a part of every one's lives. It has been a learning time and a growing time.
During this time I have realized how truly weak I am. I've seen that my only hope for being here is the Lord. He is my strength. If I can just remember that. If I can just remember the story He has created in my life. How He has called me by name and wooed me to my heart's desire. He is a good God. And while I've struggled with feeling his presence and adjusting to Cambodian life, He made me for this. He prepared me for this time and place. I can rest in knowing that I am with Him now and He is with me.
So now I am learning to rest and wait with Him. And I see that my situation is not specific to Cambodia. We all have callings. We all have tough times. And all of your stories are beautiful. Something I did recently was write down my story of how I came to Cambodia. I wrote 8 to 10 pages of the struggles and triumphs I had experienced. And I spared no detail. I told of how I felt along the way. When I was finished it was amazing for me to see this story. Even though my hands physically wrote it, I was reminded of how the Lord crafted it.
The Lord truly has good plans. He is a better author than we could ever be. Will we allow him to write the story? Will we allow him to take the pen? Sometimes it's hard. But, even as I have struggled while in Cambodia I remember how good his ways are. Even on my best day with the best hopes and dreams for myself I could not have gotten me here. I couldn't have seen the blessings that I've seen. I could not have known the joy that I have known. My story would have been a dull, Reader's Digest version, at best.
So I praise the Lord for what he as done. I thank the Lord for the Internet and for the loving community I have in America and Cambodia. And I ask him to remind me when I start to try to take the pen from his hands.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The following quote is from a man named Brian McConaghy. He is the founder of the Ratanak foundation which is committed to helping children in Cambodia. I spoke at my church before I headed back to Cambodia and shared this quote along with personal reflections the Lord had given to me.

“There are millions in slavery throughout the world. Let’s be under no illusion this is brutal brutal stuff. Western society has the luxury to look away, to change the channel, to isolate ourselves in this western affluent cocoon, to create a studied ignorance in which we all live. God has no such luxury. He is compelled to be involved because this for him is intensely personal. There are no options if love is involved. We can only love that which we know.”

I read this quote recently and it struck me. I thought of all of the children I had seen with my own eyes that had been abused. I thought about the Lord’s desire to see these little ones rescued. Then I really got stuck on the word “personal.” I began to think of what this word meant. As Christians we use it a lot to refer to our relationship with Jesus. But what does it really mean? What does it mean for these things to be personal to the Lord? I began to ask God these questions. I asked him to show me what it meant for something like this to be personal to him.
As I asked him these things I began to see a picture unfold in my mind. I saw myself at a “meet and greet” type party. I imagined that I was attending the party and Jesus would also be there. I asked God, “If you were at this party who would you want me to meet? Who would you want to personally introduce me to?” And the answer came. I saw Jesus proudly usher a 15 year old girl by her arm to me. He quickly made first name introductions and then began to ramble on about this girl to me. He said, “Ruthie, I really wanted you to meet Angie. She is so funny! She has many gifts; ones she doesn’t even know about. It’s amazing how much she cares for others. I’m telling you, you guys will be great friends.” I’m a little taken aback by such an enthusiastic introduction, but can immediately see that all He says is true. Just by looking at her face I can see that this young woman is amazing.
But there are two parts to this story. And suddenly I see what others see. I see that this young woman I am talking to is a prostitute. I see that she is plagued by hopelessness and fear. She has already tried to take her life more than once and she has believed every insulting lie that her torturers have told her.
But Jesus didn’t mention any of these things in his introduction. Is it possible that he couldn’t see it? Would I ever be able to see things through His eyes?
Now, personal has a much deeper meaning.
Can I handle this kind of personal? Can I allow myself to see the way that God sees others?
For me this 15 year old girl represents Cambodia. I have been given a great honor to be introduced to her by who she is in Christ, not what she is outwardly. And now my privilege is to treat her as she is in Christ. To join with the voice of the Father and speak into being the gifts and blessings the Lord has for this country and its people.
But, it doesn’t stop here. I ask for more personal introductions. It is true that “we can only love that which we know.” So, I ask to know. I ask to know more of the things that are personal to the Lord.

If we all asked the Lord for personal introductions, how many people would we meet? How many lives would be changed and how much love could be shown? I believe the answer is beyond comprehension.
And so I pray... Lord teach us. Give us personal knowledge of your heart and motivate us to love as you love.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Being back

Well, I've been back in Cambodia for almost three weeks now. I'm almost fully adjusted. Almost. :)
I start teaching next week and I have some mixed feelings about this new venture. I have felt so connected with Svay Pak and the work there. Now, that I'm starting something new and different, I am struggling a little to feel connected and excited. I know that the Lord has great things for me in the job, however it's been an adjustment doing something new.
Last week, I had the privilege of visiting one of our little boys from Svay Pak. His name is Loi and he was rescued while I was in the states. His mother and grandparents agreed for him to leave Svay Pak to go to an aftercare facility in the city. He is one of the children that has been heavy on my heart since the first day I met him. I was overjoyed when Alli told me that he was accepted into the aftercare facility.
Seeing Loi again brought great confirmation to the work the Lord has called me to. When I saw him, he looked different. He looked like a child. I know this may sound odd, but until this week I never saw him with the countenance of a child. He always seemed stressed and troubled. Now he is lighter and happier. He greeted me with a huge hug which lasted minutes. With his hands wrapped around me, I sensed the difference. I felt the healing and restoration that had already taken place. I just thought to myself, this is real. I don't know that I ever doubted it before, but I wondered how a child that has experienced such abuse could actually be healed. And here I am literally holding the proof in my hands. What a privilege!
In case you have shared any of my doubts, let me tell you - there is hope! There is healing, love and restoration that is meant for everyone of these children that are being abused and hopeless.

Father of Heaven and Earth,
Thank you for the rescue of this little one. Lord I believe that you are the only one that can bring true and complete healing. So, just as you have begun the healing process in Loi, I ask you for more children. I ask you for hundreds and thousands of little ones to be set free from the bondage they are experiencing today. Lord, no thing is too big for you. So, I ask you for every child that you have put in my path. Give me eyes to see them as you see them. Give me vision for the things of your heart. Ignite my heart to burn for the things that burn in your heart.
Amen

Saturday, July 4, 2009

America the beautiful

Today we celebrate our independence and freedom as a nation.
This year I've thought a lot about freedom. In just three days I will board a plane to return to Cambodia and live there indefinitely. I will minister to children and families who are living under heavy oppression. Financial oppression, spiritual oppression, societal oppression. . . and I could go on and on. But amidst the oppression, I hear one word.
FREEDOM
I feel my job is to cry "Freedom!" for these ones that feel they have no voice. I am to fight for freedom for them. My greatest hope is that they will be free and live in the freedom that comes from the Lord.

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?"
Isiah 58:6

I am inspired by this freedom. I want to see it poured out on the people I minister to. I want freedom. I believe in the freedom for the oppressed. I believe in a freedom not even imagined in this world. Freedom that is rooted in the knowledge and life of Christ. Freedom that is available to everyone, everywhere. Freedom that is not limited by nation or age or gender. Freedom that is worth fighting for and worth telling others about.
So, let us rejoice in this day of independence and freedom. Let us join with the Father's heart and declare freedom for his precious ones. Join with me in prayer and spirit and in one voice shout, "FREEDOM!" Know that your prayers are heard. As we join together with our prayers of freedom we will see the yokes broken. I can't wait to share with you the many stories that will come from this freedom cry.

Dear Warriors, there is no reason to hold back.
FREEDOM!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Even Bigger News!

So, I have quickly realized that I should not have titled my last entry "big news" because this one is even bigger.
I first want to start off by apologizing to any of you that have been anxiously waiting for my next blog entry. Things have been very busy. There have been many changes for me in life. Because of timing, I have needed to hold my tongue (or in this case my fingers) a little until I was able to talk about them.
So here they are. . .
1. I am a new mommy! Well, not exactly, but some days I feel like one. Let me explain. My roommate Alli has been praying to adopt a baby for years. Almost two weeks ago, an opportunity to adopt was presented to her. She met with the birth mother and ended up taking home the 5 week old baby that night. What a surprise! There are many legal proceedings that must take place before the US acknowledges the adoption or allows her to leave the country. Alli's little baby girl is named Isabella Ruth Mellon. I have been trying to help Alli and support her in this new mommy role. I am quickly falling in love with little Bella Mellon as she is sweet and beautiful and such a joy to have at home. Please pray for the legal side of the adoption. We believe this child has been given to Alli, however many people say she will never be able to get a visa to visit the US. Pray that government officials would grant a visiting visa for Bella so she can see her family in the US.
2. I have decided to come home in June. I'm still unsure of the exact date but will let everyone know when I know. The reason I'm coming home early is because. . . I'm coming back to Cambodia! I have committed to teach Kindergarten for a year starting in August. I'm very excited. The way the job offer came about was a complete surprise and a work of the Lord. The Lord continues to show me that my time in Cambodia is not up. Working at the schools will open many new doors for ministry as well as answer some specific prayer requests. Also, I will be teaching only in the morning so I will still be able to work in Svay Pak.

All of these changes have left me in a little bit of a whirlwind. I can't believe that my three month outreach has turned into this! I'm doing what I love. I'm hearing from the Lord and caring for his little ones in ways I never knew I could. I'm amazed and my heart is filled with praise for the grace and leading of the Lord. The Lord has shown me tremendous favor while here. He has met every need and grown everyone of my dreams.
Thank you to all of you who have walked with me during this season. I hope that as you read these words you can rejoice with me in the provision and blessing of the Lord. I pray for you all and hope to visit you next month.
May the Lord bless you!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Big News

Greetings from Cambodia!
I have some big and exciting news for you all! But first let me update you on the last three months.

As you all know, I have been working in Cambodia. During my time here, I have partnered with several different ministries. In February, it became clear to me that my purpose in Cambodia was to work in a village called Svay Pak. I have been visiting Svay Pak three times a week along with my teammate Alli. We have been providing a childrens program while partnering with an anti-trafficking ministry called Agape International Missions (AIM). While working in Svay Pak, we have been using AIM’s facility, Rahab’s House. Rahab’s House is a former brothel that was raided and then renovated for ministry. The girls that were rescued from the brothel now lead a Bible study there two times a week.
At Rahab’s house, we work with children aged 1-16, teaching them about the Bible and God''s plan for their lives. The heart-breaking reality is that many of these same children are being sold for sex during the hours that they are not in our program. It is a devastating truth that in this village children are bought, sold and abused at young ages.
Despite these truths, the Lord has done amazing things in our time in Svay Pak. We have built relationships with the children and even some of the adults. We have been able to watch the faces of the ch
ildren as they hear truth and love spoken to them for the first time. For many of them, they have not heard that they are loved and cared for by an amazing God. They do not know that there can be freedom from evil spirits and fear. They have never heard that God doesn’t want any man to ever hurt them.
So here is the big news. . .
I have decided to stay in Cambodia for at least three months more! I will continue to live in the same house with Alli. We will continue our ministry in Svay Pak and increase our time there. We plan to begin small discipleship groups in order to train up young leaders. We also plan to spend more time in the village, visiting and praying with families. As we have already found, there is a huge resistance to our presence there spiritually. We hope to make more friends and begin to build trust in the village.

I have two goals for the next three months:
1. To increase my involvement with the ministry in Svay Pak, concentrating on training young leaders and reaching out to the village.
2. To focus on language learning. This will involve working with a tutor a few times a week. And of course, “Practice, Practice, Practice!”
We have already seen changes in Svay Pak. We trust that there are even more changes to come. These changes are due largely to your emotional, spiritual and financial support. Svay Pak is your village and ministry just as much as it is Alli’s and mine. So, I ask you to join us in prayer for financial support to continue our ministry here in Cambodia.

Please consider financially partnering with our ministry in Svay Pak. I have budgeted that I will need $1,922 to cover living expenses until July 1st. Together Alli and I will need $2,400 for the ministry expenses. Up until now, my ministry partner, Alli has raised almost all of our needed ministry funds. The total amount needed is $4, 322. I need to have this money accounted for by May 1st.

There are two ways to give. You can choose to give a one time gift, or support me monthly as a missionary.
Your donation will directly affect the hurting and oppressed children of Svay Pak. You will partner with us in bringing the message of hope and life in Christ.
Please prayerfully consider both of these options and email me your decision. This is a huge help to me and very much appreciated. I hope to make contact with all of you to explain more of our ministry and discuss any questions you might have. However, due to the time difference and unreliable phone systems, I cannot guarantee that I will be able to contact everyone. Thank you for all your care and support. I do hope that I can hear a
ll of your voices soon.
Also, you are welcome to forward this email to anyone you know that might be interested in hearing more about what is happening in Svay Pak.

God Bless,
Ruthie Nickell

For tax-deductible donations please send checks to:
All Nations Family, Inc
5360 College Blvd
Suite 100
Overland Park, KS 66211
*make check payable to All Nations Family. On a separate piece of paper please write my name and attach it to the check.